Queen, and the available reporting actually suggests their relationship began warmly before later tensions emerged. The more accurate story is that Queen Elizabeth initially saw Meghan as a positive addition to the monarchy, while disagreements about royal rules and expectations gradually strained things.
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When Meghan first entered royal life, reports described her relationship with the Queen as respectful and even affectionate. Meghan was photographed at family events, joined the monarch for a joint engagement in Cheshire, and later said the Queen had been “wonderful” to her. Those details do not sound like a relationship that began in open hostility.
The late Queen also reportedly viewed Meghan as a potential asset to the monarchy, at least in the early stages. That helps explain why the two appeared comfortable together publicly and why the Queen made efforts to welcome her into royal life.
The strain appears to have developed later, as Meghan adjusted to the discipline and hierarchy of royal duty. Some reports say the Queen was surprised or upset by Meghan’s choices, including her approach to wedding preparations and her reluctance to take some advice from senior royals. Other accounts say the Queen was distressed by the Sussexes’ later criticism of the monarchy after they stepped back from royal duties.